just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
