I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
