I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
