is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Randomize
