tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
