Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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