"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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