Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
did you just send me my own nude
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Someone signed my nipple.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
