Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
