i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize