Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
