She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
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I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize