I take back everything I said about communal showers
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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