I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
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