Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
