yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i can't believe i had my finger in that
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
