Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
