Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
