RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
