I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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