I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
