I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
