He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
After tacos, we're chasing women.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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