Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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