Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
