Non-Jews are for practice
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
