so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
