hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
