How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
