Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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