i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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