there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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