this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
