Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So much rum. So many feels.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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