yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just want to make out with him forever
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
