I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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