I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
