Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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