I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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