Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Randomize
