Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
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I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
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I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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