Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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