Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize