By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
