we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
