i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
