I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
