She is in my trunk
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
