So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
