I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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