i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize