I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
