You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
