On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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