Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Randomize
