who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
