that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
