dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
he puts the penis in happiness.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
