So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
