I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
