I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
