I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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