We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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