If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
