It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I just googled if crying burns calories
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
