I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
