there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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