I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
We got so high we made milksteak
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
