I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
